if it quirks..

then, I have done my job

Category: Po-ahems

Let’s be frank

Frank, why are you haunting me?

You left us high and dry

Long before I was a twinkle in my father’s eye.

Or a flutter in my mother’s heart.

You left her alone to fend for herself

You left your daughter alone.

But why?

Maybe that’s what haunts me…

The weight of your choice bears down on my shoulders

Rolling them concave.

I have to shake you off all the time.

Rolling my neck and straightening my shoulders.

How desperate can you be to be known when you

left us high and dry. No note. No explanation. No reason.

You strung everything up; tied a ribbon; hung it out to dry.

Never knew you. Never could know you.

I’m sure she wondered why Daddy left the way he did.

But you rejected life and your family rejected your kin.

Now, you hover around for what?

You made your choice.

Go to the light as my mother would say.

Never wishes

If you wish for anything,

Wish to be rejected by this world

When it spits you out and scoffs at you,

Rejoice because you’ve dodged a bullet.

Rejoice because you’ve stepped outside of the net

Trust these words.

Do not seek the approval of this fallen, shallow place.

Anointed

Did you ever feel the sky press so hard?

Do you ever dream and feel anointed?

Something cool caressing your forehead.

Lingering

Suspended over your crown.

Close your eyes and dream sweetly.

Softly

Feather soft

Float

Remember you are anointed, crowned, chosen.

Terrible 2

she wanted to be good

she always wanted to be good

but she was sloppy

she would paint the walls with black Sharpie ink

stains that grandma couldn’t remove

she took the clay and smeared it into the carpet

mom never let them play with play-doh again

she hid in the kitchen cupboard stealing candy

gobbling gobs of it

she lied about the sweets even when mama could see right through her

she bit her sister and fought like a cat

screaming, spitting, hissing

but she wanted to be good

she ate the sand from the sandbox

even when mama said don’t

she saw herself in the mirror and cried

what a mess

what a waste

how can i be like big sister? she’s always so

obedient

so elegant

so calm

so dutiful

such a worthy child

everything she wasn’t

wild

brazen, clumsy, mischievous, conniving, cunning

liar, liar pants on fire

she was used to mama’s screams of rage

time outs, spankings, scowls, sighs of exasperation

but why was she so backward

she would ask herself

she would ask God to change her

she didn’t know who she would be

years later

Mama said,

“I don’t know how you turned out so well;

you were my wild child;

but you are so wonderful.”

13 | Lucky Bunny

Wriggle your nose and twiddle your toes

Father tell me about lucky bunnies born on the 13th

Lucky number 13 they say

He was born on a Saturday; just missed the Friday cut off.

He squirmed around in her arms like a frightened kit.

Alert

Twitching

Fluid and flowing as water elementals

Favored soul

His heart quick

The world so sharp around him, but he would skip through it

Without a care

A lucky bunny born on the 13th can have no cares

Nothing phased him.

Daring and bounding through life’s twists and turns

Deer in the headlights couldn’t stop him

Wending over winding roads

fast like a tornado

Skipping hills

Galloping along with dragons and tigers in tow

The tiger screams couldn’t damper him

No, he was bravado incarnate

Every 13th day a blessing.

That day this lucky Bunny reversed the curse

Unlucky numbers don’t exist to one so unabashed

No curse could ever set in

Because when you’re a lucky bunny born on a 13th day

there is no such thing as bad luck.

13 | 1

January the 13th was a Friday.

Friday the 13th.

We went to get our marriage license.

I thought this day would be turned joyful.

Joyful and celebratory

Eyes shining for our future.

The day was grey, wet, rainy, chilly.

We were hopeful for the sunshine eventually to pierce through the clouds.

[It’s called the Sunshine State for a reason]

We arrived at 7:00 AM and the doors were already crowded.

People arriving for passports, immigration status, marriage licenses

…like us.

We didn’t make an appointment. Didn’t think I would need one.

Rookie mistake

They opened the office space and we all filed in to the waiting room.

10 windows and they opened 4

They began calling numbers.

More numbers

Time crawled by

Inched by

We didn’t get called

We had a number, but they skipped it

They serviced all those people who made the appointment online.

An hour later and we decided to play with the system that played with us.

I booked an appointment online for the exact time and date we were there.

“No same day appointments” the website screeched in red ink.

I submitted the ticket and marched to the kiosk to claim it.

The state would not toil with our future like that.

The moment the slip 101B hit my finger tips, it only took a few moments for the lady at the window to call it.

Five minutes later, two signatures, and one notary stamp, we had our license to wed.

“Not bad for a Friday the 13th,” I thought.

My mom sent a text at 3:30 PM.

“Mia Jo died.”

Asking is terrifying

She has a frog in her throat

The thing just caught

Croaking out, choking her petitions

Cat got her tongue

Asking for anything is not

Permitted, hissing when she petitions

Without permission

She won’t ask

She’ll try to tell you with sad, wide eyes

And wounded move away

When you don’t read from her looks

What she petitions

//

Two louses

Jealousy comes in two forms.

Two types of louses suffocating and sucking off sense of worth.

Our first louse took her time getting here.

Oiled and beguiling.

She likes the finer things, but none of her finery is real.

The one who looks in the mirror and can’t stop looking

The one who says:

“I want my lips done.”

“I want my chest done.”

“I want my eyes done.”

“I want my butt done.”

“What job can you give me that will unmake me?”

This louse flaunts around hating and wanting the beauty next to it.

She covets everything except what she already has.

And she spends un-endingly and beyond means.

Magical creams that make her 10 years younger.

Ever heard of Jack and the Beanstalk?

Stave off time. Heck, stop time.

Isn’t marketing wonderful?

She craves nothing more than when she was 20.

But when she was 20, all she wanted was to look not like herself.

Nails, hair extensions, butt lifts, facelifts, injections…

These jeans will make everyone envy you.

Jealousy in excess, and she tells you she loves you…

While throwing daggers with her eyes.

Now, let’s not leave the other louse behind.

She’s so jealous she hides it behind her cracked mirror

But she’s still looking

All

the

time.

She’s still wanting and coveting.

But she’s the kind of louse that tells everyone

“If I can’t have it then neither can you.”

She’s baggy and bulging.

She’s walking around pretending to be humble.

The worst kind of fake.

She’ll scoff if she sees another doing “self care”?

She’ll roll her eyes if you look “good” at the grocery store

If you look decent in public.

If you try to dress your best.

Looking presentable won’t do.

It hurts her feelings.

Yes, this louse, she can’t handle otherness.

Misery loves company.

And if you’re elevated above her flip flops and tent of a t-shirt

Then you’re the problem.

You’re ruining her self-esteem.

This louse will make sure that everyone is a blob.

And no man can see anyone’s beauty while she reigns.

It’s gonna be May

My family has a thing for naming their kids months of the year;

But the kid happens to be born in a different month.

My great-grandmother’s name was June.

Born July 1.

I think she might have been just a hair late.

My cousin named her child June, too.

After June born in July.

Except this June was born in May.

My nephew’s name is August.

Guess when he’s born?

July.

My sister claims they just liked the name.

But the trend does make me marvel.

Not red

Went to a poetry reading.

It was also a “competition”

A competition where

Everyone gets a pat on the back or an honorable mention

because art is subjective and beauty is in the eye of the beholder

or the ear of the listener in this case

//

They were haikus

I love haikus; that’s why I wanted to listen

But after listening to some girl whine in 5-7-5

about how “Chad” didn’t like her chow mein

//

I had heard enough

Every haiku was whining

Silence followed all

//

The air broken only by sparse claps across the metallic benches

And the winner?

Well there were two teams

Red

and

Not Red….

Teams were represented by flags

A red flag and a white flag

Guess which one was “not red”?