if it quirks..

There are a lot of people who watch Dr. Pimple Popper, and I’m one of them.

I’m here for it.

I’m here for the satisfaction of getting all the nasty out of pimples, cysts, blackheads, papules, pustules, and lipomas.

It might gross people out, but I think it’s way more gross to carry that stuff around under your skin.

Not to mention that it spreads or grows if untreated.

I think what I enjoy most is that it changes the way a person sees themselves.

It certainly changes the way I see them.

I see them suffering or hiding themselves because they feel so unnatural.

And there’s nothing natural about it.

But, I have an even deeper reason. I like to see impurities go away.

Especially if it’s on me.

The moment I feel a pimple forming under my skin, I am rubbing cream and witch hazel all over it.

I want to make that sucker come to the surface, so I can squeeze the living daylights out of it.

I don’t like pimples one bit. So, I squeeze them as soon as I can.

I know that dermatologists like Dr. Lee would advise otherwise, but that’s not how I roll.

Those suckers are coming out, whether it’s an easy white pustule or a deeper blackhead.

I will force them out ASAP.

Eviction notice posted.

I’m here for it.

I don’t know if this is an obsession with perfection or liking the idea of purifying myself.

I just like removing pimples from my body.

It stings a little at first, but afterwards, I feel my skin breathe.

And that is something beautiful.

Small faces

that’s what they want

Big eyes

that’s what they covet

My wild Irish eyes could

take you by surprise

Feeling tall  –  all

Bowing low  –  oh

Crowds across seas

that I have yet to

feel a part of

Feeling tall  –  all, all, all

Bowing low  –  oh, oh, oh

Freckles on my skin

“Ugly,” they said

Thick hair and thighs

“Stop eating,” they said

But the chopsticks fit so good

between my fingers.

They marvel surprised

Feeling small  –  all

Bowing low  –  oh

Crowds across seas

that I have yet to

feel a part of.

Feeling small  –  all, all, all

Bowing low  –  oh, oh, oh

Irish eyes and

here we are

holding chopsticks

and poking at my

tall, thick thighs

lies, highs, whys

How many ways can

you use chopsticks?

Poke my eyes to have

Poke my skin to banish the freckles

Poke my thighs so they won’t bloat

Feeling tall

Bowing low

Feeling small

Bowing low

Bowing low

Bowing low

that instinct to run?

 

 

 

 

I hate it.

They cut me open.

They ripped at the gash; curling away the dry, dead hide, picking through the pink tender sinews, right down to the purple, green-blue nerves.  They strung up the feeling within, wound it up like an electric cord.

My bones.  They crawled into my bones.  They creaked and cracked with such weight.

They asked for food, so I pushed my stomach out the gash to make space for their feast.

They asked for air, so I pushed my lungs out of the gash so they could rocket beyond.

They asked for the word, so I swallowed my tongue to make way for a truer sound.

They asked to go places, so I gave my legs, my feet to skip nations.

They asked to know, so I let them pick my brain to bits.

They asked for color and warmth, so I gave my hands and then my arms;

I stretched them so wide.

They asked for purpose, so I pushed aside my heart to make way for their new pulses.

They crawled inside my empty carcass, and made me live.  

They sewed up the slash marks

…my blood…

Just so long as you’re 99 percent monstrosity

and 1 percent sweet sass

otherwise, your mother would never know what to do with you

otherwise, your father would have a stroke

otherwise, your siblings would question your sanity

otherwise, you’re a true freak among freaks

otherwise, the kids would be all right.

You did good, my Son.

You did beautifully…

….beautifully….

You’re my one and only window seat;

a shelter, comfort;

clear and open, bright, smooth, dependable;

I’ll share this space with no one.

Reception, deception, conception, reflection (reflexion)

Criticize, oversize, otherwise, disguise

Lips, hips, toss the chips, these trips

break, take, make, for heaven’s sake

Look, in the book, find a nook, crook shook

Race, pace, face, replace, encase, erase

Pain, swimming brain, drain, feels like rain, crane

over the sink, pink, stink, be the link

between, unseen, careen, serene, I mean this scene,

it’s here, my career, tear, steer, near the year

of eviction, conviction, addiction, can’t function at the

junction where it’s wrong + right; fight, I bite, go fly a kite

way out of sight into the night. quite

so, show, foe, mow, beau, low, to know is to grow, tomorrow

the latter will shatter, and clatter, does it matter? the

shards scatter over the cards, bards, shout for yards. a

hand, screams a demand, reprimand,

take the land by a force right on course, show

no remorse, from the source because a certain

gland, held together by a strand, so bland it’s

planned to flood, blood, like mud, how does it

feel? to see skin peel, reveal, something real

no deal if I steal away and kneel, lift up

a prayer, is anyone there?  I hate my hair, it’s not

fair, no care, just bare right where

smile, mile, Queen of the Nile, crocodile perched on

a stile, that’s vile, while

away, hey, stay, okay, you may, one day, not

black and white but gray, see a ray through

jeers, leers, cheers, fears, beers, dears, ears

queers, seers, rears, and peer into the clear

beyond the mirror.